More information about the Underscore mailing list

[_] McDonnell Douglas survey

Ed Walker ed at edwalker.com
Thu May 20 12:19:30 BST 2004

Actually I think it has just been tweeked for the current situation...


> -----Original Message-----
> From: underscore-bounces at under-score.org.uk
> [mailto:underscore-bounces at under-score.org.uk] On Behalf Of
> Edward Walker
> Sent: 20 May 2004 12:06
> To: underscore at under-score.org.uk
> Subject: [_] McDonnell Douglas survey
>
> This was allegedly posted (very briefly) on the McDonnell
> Douglas Website by an employee there who obviously has a
> sense of humour.
>
> "Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military
> aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please
> take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card
> below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but
> the information will help us to develop new products that
> best meet your needs and desires."
>
> 1.
> [_] Mr.
> [_] Mrs.
> [_] Ms.
> [_] Miss
> [_] Lt.
> [_] Gen.
> [_] Comrade
> [_] Classified
> [_] Other
>
> First Name: ..................................................
> Initial: ........
> Last Name:...................................................
> Password: .............................. (max. 8 char) Code
> Name:...............................................
> Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ......................
>
> 2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
> [_] F-14 Tomcat
> [_] F-15 Eagle
> [_] F-16 Falcon
> [_] F-117A Stealth
> [_] Classified
>
> 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 20../......./.....
>
> 4. Serial Number:.......................................
>
> 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
> [_] Received as gift / aid package
> [_] Catalogue / showroom
> [_] Independent arms broker
> [_] Mail order
> [_] Discount store
> [_] Government surplus
> [_] Classified
>
> 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell
> Douglas product you have just purchased:
>
> [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
> [_] Store display
> [_] Espionage
> [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally [_] Political
> lobbying by manufacturer [_] Was attacked by one
>
> 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced
> your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
>
> [_] Style / appearance
> [_] Speed / manoeuvrability
> [_] Price / value
> [_] Comfort / convenience
> [_] Kickback / bribe
> [_] Recommended by salesperson
> [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
> [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
> [_] Backroom politics
> [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
> 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
>
> [_] North America
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Aircraft carrier
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Europe
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Africa
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Asia / Far East
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Miscellaneous Third World countries
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Classified
> [_] Iraq
>
> 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or
> intend to purchase in the near future:
>
> [_] Colour TV
> [_] VCR
> [_] ICBM
> [_] Killer Satellite
> [_] CD Player
> [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
> [_] Space Shuttle
> [_] Home Computer
> [_] Nuclear Weapon
>
> 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
> (Indicate all that apply ) [_] Communist / Socialist [_]
> Terrorist [_] Crazed [_] Neutral [_] Democratic [_]
> Dictatorship [_] Corrupt [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
> 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
>
> [_] Deficit spending
> [_] Cash
> [_] Suitcases of cocaine
> [_] Oil revenues
> [_] Personal cheque
> [_] Credit card
> [_] Ransom money
> [_] Traveller's cheque
>
> 12. Your occupation:
>
> [_] Homemaker
> [_] Sales / marketing
> [_] Revolutionary
> [_] Clerical
> [_] Mercenary
> [_] Tyrant
> [_] Middle management
> [_] Eccentric billionaire
> [_] Defence Minister / General
> [_] Retired
> [_] Student
>
> 13. To help us better understand our customers; please
> indicate the interests and activities in which you and your
> spouse enjoy participating in on a regular basis:
>
> [_] Golf
> [_] Boating / sailing
> [_] Sabotage
> [_] Running / jogging
> [_] Propaganda / misinformation
> [_] Destabilization / overthrow
> [_] Defaulting on loans
> [_] Gardening
> [_] Crafts
> [_] Black market / smuggling
> [_] Collectibles / collections
> [_] Watching sports on TV
> [_] Wines
> [_] Interrogation / torture
> [_] Household pets
> [_] Crushing rebellions
> [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
> [_] Fashion clothing
> [_] Border disputes
> [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>
> Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.
> Your answers will be used in market studies that will help
> McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as
> allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from
> other companies, governments, extremist groups, and
> mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this
> survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in
> our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
> Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
> McDonnell DOUGLAS CORPORATION,
> Marketing Department,
> Military Aerospace Division.
>
>
> --
> underscore_ list info/archive -> http://www.under-score.org.uk
>